Decoding Anxiety

In my last blog post I said that this post would include a more in depth "about me", however I decided to address a more serious topic, but a topic that is still heavily about me.

Anxiety.

I feel as if people can treat anxiety as a bit of a joke. People with an anxiety disorder (and yes it is a disorder) can be seen as either mental, over dramatic or attention seeking and not seen as someone that needs help. Or then there's the other people who think saying they have an anxiety disorder is "cool" or "quirky" and the "in thing". Do you think sitting alone breathless and shaking because you're too nervous to do a simple task is "cool"? Do you think cancelling plans with people because you just can't face leaving your house and being around other people is "quirky"? I can tell you now that it is neither "cool" nor "quirky" it is serious and life affecting for everyone involved.

Before I carry on, I want to note that I am not speaking for everyone with an anxiety disorder, everyone is different, but what I say is from my own experiences and other people I know who suffer also.


Things we can't help but do all the time:

• Worry
• Second-guess ourselves
• Have difficulty trusting people
• Worry
• Take everything personally
• Have difficulty accepting compliments
• Worry
• Obsess over how we're being interpreted by people
• Fumble our words
• Worry
• Make a huge deal out of small things or situations
• Be suspicious of a persons intentions
• Worry

Things you should remember:

• It's an actual disorder
• Telling us "not to worry" won't stop us from worrying
• Telling us "worrying is silly" won't stop us from worrying and it'll only make us feel silly
• We're scared of everything
• Social interaction is in no way fun for us
• We're constantly worrying about worrying too much
• We try to protect ourselves in every way possible
• We don't intentionally act distant or rude to people - we just have a lot of protecting layers
• You can't "fix" us

Things to do if you know someone with an anxiety disorder:

• Talk to us - not necessarily about our anxiety, just in general
• Stick around - we may act as if we don't want you around, but we do really
• Make sure we are comfortable with our surroundings and situation
• Give us a chance

Things not to do:

• Force us to be social
• Take us being distant or rude personally
• Force us to do things that may trigger us
• Tell us to "calm down"
• Tell us "not to worry"
• Ask if we're "getting help"
• Tell us we "should get help"
• Ignore us

What to do if someone with an anxiety disorder has a turn:

• Stay calm - the last thing they need is you beginning to panic
• Be patient
• Sit with us - knowing we have someone by our side fighting with us can be enough to calm us down
• Take us away from the surroundings or situation that triggered us
• Remind us to breathe
• If they have medication, make them take it
• Distract us
• Engage in a simple conversation - if we can talk, we can breathe

If you have an anxiety disorder:

• Everything will be okay eventually
• It's okay to be scared
• You are not crazy
• Having a built up armor is okay
• There is still someone underneath it all though
• No one is making you take it off
• You are not alone

My Anxiety

I've been anxious about everything my whole life, but it has only become a real problem within the past year. I personally think what triggered it was moving country and having to settle into a whole new life and culture. I find meeting new people in Cyprus incredibly stressful, because I can't speak Greek and even though the majority of the time they speak English, I still feel uncomfortable and embarrassed and am often triggered. Being part Cypriot myself, I have a huge Cypriot family and even though they are family, I always feel constantly anxious whenever I see them. They are incredibly traditional and I am expected to act a certain way and do certain things that are just not me so I am constantly on edge that I might do something wrong. Due to this my Christmas was an incredibly stressful event. Starting a new school is not nice for anyone, but starting a new school, in a new county and not knowing anyone is incredibly triggering. When first starting at my school I found that in my accounting class I was constantly in a panic. I would sit alone at the back, not understanding the lesson, not understanding the class, being the only English person in the class and in constant fear that whenever anyone actually did talk to me they were making fun of me. Now that's not a nice feeling and I was constantly alone in that lesson, with none of my new friends there and the only person who made me comfortable was miles away in England.

I've been prescribed medication for my anxiety, however because of my anxiety I don't like to take it. I feel embarrassed that I have to take medication and as I can't swallow pills whole, I often need to get someone to help me crush it which then makes me embarrassed because I can't even crush it myself. After I've taken my medication I do feel a lot better (apart from one time, but that's another story) so if you too have medication, do take it, as embarrassed or as uncomfortable as you are, it will help, trust me.

I am however lucky enough that the people I surround myself with do understand and are patient when I need them. I've never shown them the full extent of my anxiety, I'd rather deal with that myself, but what they have seen, they've been supportive the whole way through.

I know this was a very serious post, but I felt like this was something I had to include within my blog. I don't do "serious" often, so this did actually make me incredibly anxious when writing it and this post means a lot to me. If I've upset or angered anyone with this post, it was not my intention, this was just my thoughts on a subject that is close to me. :)